Marriage is a unique gift that brings challenges like no other and yet at the same time it can be so rewarding. Many marriages experience a plateau at certain intervals during the relationship cycle. There are times when everything seems “boring”, routines are in vogue and the chatter is all the same. The doldrums are the new game in town. If you are anything like most couples, we all need our marriages to be enlivened with new energy and invigoration. And this does not magically happen. There has to be intention about bringing fun and excitement to the relationship. As a Caribbean-American islander, spice is essential to the taste of our food. Spice removes that bland palate and brings “pep in your step” or vigor to your taste buds. From the spiciness of pepper and ginger to the “herbfulness” of cardamom and star anise, Spice adds flavor.
5 Ways to add Flavor to your Marriage
1. Add the Six-Second kiss to your daily routine. Do this everyday for one week and watch what happens. The “kiss with potential” designed by Gottman Institute is known to foster deeper connections with your spouse. I have personally tried it with my husband and it does create a deeper desire for more, while strengthening the marital bond.
2. Surprise your Spouse. One day this week, out of the blue, take a few moments to buy a gift, flowers, or write a note and give it to your spouse. You can even drop it off at work or hide it in a place that your spouse frequents in your home. Your partner will be so excited that you took the time to think about them.
3. Take a shower Together. But here’s the catch, only to sing a song of choice. After singing together, watch to see what may happen later on. Showering together has often been known as a sort of aphrodisiac. But this twist is that it shifts the attention from physical connection to one that is emotional and helps to foster deeper connection and create shared value with your spouse.
4. Schedule a unique Date. Dates or date nights are always fun and help us to release the tension that can be found in daily life. Date nights give each other the opportunity to
reconnect with their spouse, to laugh with each other, and foster healthy relations. So, when you schedule your date time, do something different, not the same. For instance, you and your partner can do a progressive dinner. That is to have an appetizer at one restaurant, an entree at another and then dessert somewhere else. Try renting bikes or paddle boards at your local park or beach. Or take a midnight moonlit kayak tour. The list is endless of unique date times that can be scheduled. Be creative.
5. Make the mundane… Fun. Sometimes our relationships can become too serious forgetting that we are all human. Learn to laugh at yourself by implementing some twists to everyday chores.
· Hold hands while grocery shopping.
· Take a hot bath together while in full regalia and slowly remove your clothes while in the tub.
· Talk to your spouse while driving to work and tell each other what makes them beautiful.
· Feed each other breakfast.
· Play some music while cleaning the house, share the chores, and sing and dance as you clean.
Spicy tips to make your marriage flavorful has been brought to you by Jade Major-Bryan M.A. Jade is a full-time therapist focusing on marriage and EMDR therapy. She has a practice in South Florida called More Life Living. Her hobbies are traveling, writing, and connecting with her husband.